James Dean Bradfield

At the moment.....

Jim is celebrating the fact that he'll never see any of you shitey-arsed-fuckers ever again. He is also lightly snacking on a packet of Neon Nerds and is rather concerned about what colour they will make his stools next.

James Dean Bradfield retires from music and society. The Manics split.

Hi chucks! It's been a long time since I've updated. I've been having problems. I just can't stop wanking. All of my days are dedicated to beating myself off. I just can't take it anymore. I think if I keep tugging away at my balls something will rip. Nick has been helping me through this terrible experience. He knows what is means to be a wanker. Please. Please keep me in your prayers before a cock becomes no cock at all.

Love Jim.

Masturbation.

Thats it. It's over. I retire. I've had enough of your fucking garbage! Constantly screaming for Sleepflower in my sets. Constantly wearing atrocious makeup GIG-IN-GIG-OUT. Constantly interrupting me in the street with your daft fucking questions. I've had enough of it. After this album that's it. There will be no more Manics. No more solo albums. No more anything!

I am off to work in Svalbard. I have a friend called Canute who toured with us on Gold Against The Soul who knows of a retreat that will suit me down to the ground. The place is apparently filled with drugged-up elks and uber-camp polar bears but anything and I mean ANY-FUCKING-THING would be better than having to contend with all of you twods. At least finally I will have some peace. At least I'll be able to walk around the local supermarket without having a black eyed bufoon pop-out from behind the cornflakes.

So to summarise this will be my last album. The Manics are over. And I've booked my tickets to the Arctic for December. I hope I never smell any of you rancid bastards ever again. Particularly YOU.

Good luck you fucking goats.

If you have something to say, say it fucking now.

Stop Press! Tour News!

I will be playing the following dates to support my new album in the following couple of months, with support from Del Amitri, Colin Greenwood and the Cocteau Twins.

Ticketmaster.co.uk

July

July 4th - Glasgow Barrowlands

July 6th - Firs Park, Glasgow

July 9th - Strangeways Prison, Essex

July 15th - Tower Colliery, Wales

July 19th - La Casa Pizzeria, Cardiff

July 20th - La Casa Pizzeria, Cardiff

July 22nd - Fat Tams Shank N Spank, Swansea

July 24th - The Sailors Graveyard, Auste

July 25th - La Case Pizzeria, Cardiff (Final Night Boogie)

A big warm grizzly Welsh bear-hug to youz all like y'know? Hi, I'm James Dean Bradfield the guitar hero from the Manic Street Preachers and besides being in the most bootiful group eva I spend most of my time downing cockaleekie soup, getting in the burgers, harassing middle aged waitresses at inner-city sausage bar stands and well just generally getting the burgers in like!

I've decided that I'm gonna call it quits with the lads soon, I've had enough with Wire becoming hysterical before gigs and pissing down my legs. If I wanted that I could have just bought a dog y'know? And y'know on the subject of dogs.

Y'know some fans just see me as the meat and two veg on stage but thats bollocks like. What they don't realise is that I'm the philosopher and the social critic all in one like?. I'm facing a lawsuit against the Canine Defence League next week.

I went round to the local pup sanctuary and thought like y'know I'd play them some tunes of the new solo album y'know just to see the little uns reaction u'know. And like y'know I was half way through playing the new one 'Bravdo, Brawn and the Evil B' (which like hails back to our punk roots y'know like ever song we've did in the last 4 years like) to this little blind Jack Russell who were sleeping all cuddled up and the like and like out of nowhere COMPLETELY unprovoked like he wakes up and tears into my pleasuring finger and I'm like frantatically trying to bat him off, I started by gently swinging the hand around y'know with the dog on board and he wouldn't let go.

He reminded me of a young eager Jimmy! It was like the first time I tasted pizza at Llalalalalanthhilnth Fair in 1985! Y'know I just wanted the bites to last forever and this little tyke y'know like was the same.

So old Jimmy begins bleeding like hell and y'know there isn't a welshman who likes the blood and I ain't ready to be an exception and so I start swinging him around faster trying to get him off. But he wouldn't budge and so like the only option was to either blather him over the head what with my acoustic or just bite him back, but y'know me Jimmy, wouldn't hurt a fly so I decided to drop him into the sound hole of my acoustic and I rattled the guitar up good and proper just to make sure he was well and dazed before letting him out again. I have the wrist reflex for rattling y'know?

Anyway it turns out that the kennel runner saw the whole thing and it seems like I've stepped into a rather large sheep pat. Literally! Theres shat all over my floor and Sean hasn't been around this week y'know? Usually when hes around he'd order #32 at the local indian and by christ how the evil brown fluid would course out of his arse! I've never seen a man with such bowels before! He's a true Olympian at the shatstakes is our Sean!

He's actually thinking of releasing a solo album too only using samples of himself perched on the toilet. It's kinda clever cos like when he releases it and the music weeklies review and say "it's shat" well like he'll say "well yes it is. and quite fine shat it is. the shat was so fine that it even burnt through the extra tough Charmin Ultra stuff you can only buy in-bulk for old peoples homes."